From abroad

Once upon a time , there lived a happy couple, Mr.
& Mrs. Ng with their 3
lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Anele. The 3
daughters were brought up in
a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20,
they were still virgins.

Years past, and it was time to get them married.
So, the parents found
them the most suitable 'leng chais'. They got
married and were preparing
to set-off on their honeymoon. As 'concerned',
Mr.& Mrs. Ng were curious
about their daughters' first-night experience. So,
before the daughters
went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told
them...... "Your father
& I want to know about your 1st night encounters
and whether you are
satisfied. Write a letter to us, but as not to
raise your husbands'
curiosity...you all must use a code-name to
describe your experiences"
So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed.
Mr & Mrs Ng got the
first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the
letter and found the word
STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the
newspaper and looked for Standard Chartered
advertisement. Ah! here it
is!!!!, exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard
Chartered was...."BIG,
STRONG & FRIENDLY"....Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it
was from Ena. The
content was simple. "NESCAFE". So, again they took
the newspaper and
looked for the Nescafe ad. Ah! here it is.
'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE
LAST DROP'. Mr. & Mrs. Ng jumped in joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. 2 months
passed. There was still no
letter from Anele. The Ngs became worried. Finally,
the letter came. It
was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng
managed to figure it
out. The code-name was "CATHAY PACIFIC". Mr. Ng
rushed to the nearest
store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages
frantically.... ah! here it
is!!! Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud.
Before she could finish
it......THUMP!!!!!!...she fell off her chair.
The motto is.........." 7 TIMES A WEEK. 3 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP ".

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There were these 4 guys, a French, a Russian, a German and a Singaporean,
who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie
appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he
said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.

When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool
of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted
"wine". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman
was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "vodka" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "beer". He was so contented
with his beer pool.

The last is the Singaporean. He was running towards the pool when suddenly
he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,




"shiiittt...!!!"

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Why New Changi Hospital (NCH) changed its name
to Changi General Hospital (CGH)? Because NCH stands for
"Never Come Home". That's why business was very bad before it changed its name.
Now CGH stands for "Can Go Home". So business is picking up.
Business in Singapore General Hospital (SGH) is still going
strong because SGH stands for "Sure Go Home"!
Now National University Hospital (NUH) is also considering a
name change. It stands for "No Use Hospital"!